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Got caught up in a really good book last night. I didn`t stop coloring till 2 o`clock this morning.
ME: “We have a problem, the liquor store is closed.” HER: “That`s ok, I don’t drink.” ME: “Ok we have two problems.”
Great idea for an April Fools Prank ... Hide all of the desktop icons on someone`s computer and replace their wallpaper with a screenshot of their old desktop.
Whenever someone tries to get too friendly with me, I like to call them by the wrong name to remind them of where we stand.
Nothing tests that whole "for better or worse" thing like the question "does this look infected?"
The amount of alcohol I would need to sleep with you would actually kill me.
I hate it when chicks wear pink camo. I`m like, "girl" where you hiding? Candyland?
To stupidity ... And beyond!!
People hear my southern accent and automatically assume I`m stupid. Let me tell you something right now. That is just a coincidence.
If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I was ugly, I`d be broke as hell because I`m a sexy beast!!
When I`m cleaning my room, 1% cleaning 29% moaning 70% playing with stuff I just found.
Relationship Tip for men: When a woman says, "Correct me if I`m wrong but...."Don`t do it!! It`s a trap!! DO NOT, I repeat, do not correct that woman!!!
Why eat a carrot when you can just as easily not eat a carrot?
I don’t know who or what is doing it, but one day I will find the thing that continues to steal one sock and destroy it.
It`s always fun to act like you don`t see the person running to catch the elevator your in just as the door starts closing.