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You`re only limited by your own imagination! And money. And talent. And genetics. And time. And other people. Go for it!
French people give me the crepes.
Nothing is really lost until your mom can’t find it.
my 2012 new year’s resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.
Saying “do I smell popcorn ” right after you fart, so everyone takes in a deep breath.
I wish my car was fueled by my lack of desire to go to work.
Adding "and sh!t" to the end of a sentence to make it sound cooler and sh!t.
If you use more toilet paper to wipe the tears out of your eyes then wip your bum in the morning...the food was too hot the night before
I’m not a vegetarian but I eat animals who are.
I hate it when I get too drunk and just kidding I never hate getting drunk!
Half of my day is just me screaming profanities at an electronic device.
The best two kinds of beer in this world are....Cold & Free..
Her profile said she was a stone cold freak. Turns out she was just a wrestling fan with bad capitalization skills. :(
I trust Snapple facts more than CNN and Fox News.
I`m going to hire two private detectives to follow each other .