Daily Silly Status

Today is Friday the 13th. Try not to be a teenage girl in her underwear at night at a deserted summer camp today.

Now that the Summer is over, I can finally stop pretending to be on a diet

Whoever said "Lets do that" in the meeting for the pop-tarts without frosting, should be fired

You make your own luck`.. a saying most popular with lucky f*ckers

If you hear sirens and see some naked dude with jeans on his head running down the street, be sure to throw me a beer.

You don`t have to dress like you`re a handbag, unless you are Lady Gaga.

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember all the things I was suppose to do.

Being sick is your bodies way of saying “Hey, you really need to catch up on some TV”.

As My Wife walked by, she said, "NICE PORN STASH!" which got me all excited and I preceded to show her where I hide the really raunch stuff. She then clarified that she was talking about the ugly hair I`ve been trying to grow above my lip, and now, I have neither... :)

I`ve started an exercise program. I do 20 sit-ups each morning. That may not sound like a lot, but you can only hit that snooze button so many times.

Relationships are mostly you apologizing for saying something hilarious

There were 2 muffins in a muffin shop the first 1 says "I love being a muffin!" then the 2 muffin says ``Holy crap its a talking muffin!"

Sometimes the fact that bacon exists is enough.

when people fall in love they are called " love birds." when they fight they are called "angry birds."

I get butterflies in my stomach every time I eat butterflies.