Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Do you think they still give out chips in Gambler`s Anonymous?
I downloaded this app called "Hide & Go Seek". Ever since then I cant find my damn phone.
Some of the nicest women you`ll meet on Facebook are men.
HA! If you think I`M crazy you should meet ME!
People who are offended by offensive things offend me.
3 bottles of bleach: $15.00. One rope, 3 rolls of duct tape, and a shovel: $35.00. 3 boxes of trash bags: $10.00. The look on the cashier`s face: Priceless!
Sarcasm. Because communicating with morons is hard.
I`ll never forget what my dad said when I gave him the picture I drew and asked him to put on the refrigerator: "Wtf Dude, you`re 23."
My friend told me that bigamy was having one wife to many. I thought that was called monogamy.
Who decided to call the man purse a satchel and not a douchebag?
Whenever I tell the cashier to ‘keep the change`, it takes everything in my power not to call them a filthy animal.
There`s no hiding it, my ex sucks at school... And in cars, alleys, and public restrooms...
I would know if I was insane, the voices would tell me.
I`m surprised people still ask me if I want to hold their baby given the number of times I`ve dropped my phone.
I don`t understand the saying "you snooze you lose"... I hit the snooze button 8 times this morning and feel like a champion.