Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m amazed at how much better my life has been since the iOS 7 update. I bet it would be even better if I owned an iPhone.
I keep forgetting how bad my memory has become
Last year in college football Alabama beat Arkansas, Tennessee, and Auburn. Those teams coaches all resigned. Any chance of Alabama playing agsinst the White House this year?
"Hey, man, just called to see when you`re going to commercial. Now? Ok, us too." -Radio Stations
I don`t like thinking before I say something. I like to be just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth
The awkward moment when you set something down for a second and it disappears off the face of the earth.
One day I will solve all problems with grace & maturity. Today is not that day...
Really disappointed to find out after laser eye surgery I am unable to burn down buildings
This day will end with either wine or shopping. Probably both.
My credit card company says I have an outstanding balance. I was flattered.
Getting another set of teeth would be much more useful at age 60 than age 6.
A fun way to "Break up" is to tell them to "Go long" and then never throw them the football.
I`m writing this status very slowly, cause I know you guys can`t read very fast.
My motto for the night ... drink till I no longer think :)
Of course women have cleaner minds than men. They change them so damn often.