Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
There are no bad pictures; that’s just how your face looks sometimes.
I`ve set my "life goals" to stuff I`ve already done so literally every day now I`m overachieving. It`s all about perspective.
Things I`ve learned: There`s no cool way to chase after a bouncing ping-pong ball.
We are the only ones who can control our own happiness, but sometimes it feels like someone else is holding the remote.
Sometimes when someone appears to be hailing a cab, I go up and high five their hand because you can never be too sure.
That awkward moment when you buy a pack of condoms and your wife ask. what you gonna do with those?
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she`s been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
Every shape I had to learn above octagon was just a total fu*king waste of time.
Whenever someone says to me “Things could be worse” I punch them in the face and say “Like that?”
auto-correct has got to be my worst enema.
I just want to be famous enough to have a Wikipedia page full of misinformation about me.
I can’t tell if I’m hungry, but better eat just in case.
Just heard a lady say "When in doubt, get a pizza"... I don`t know who this woman is but she`s my new life coach.
I haven’t lived paycheck to paycheck since my last paycheck.
I`ve always wondered is jellyfish are sad because there are no peanut butter fish.