Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Automatic doors make me feel like a Jedi
Ladies, when it comes to stalking, I`m 100% behind you.
Iām not fat... my stomach is 3D.
You tell me I`m crazy, the voices tell me I`m not. 4 against 1, so........
Before McDonald`s I bet "don`t buy cheeseburgers from a clown" was a pretty hard and fast rule.
My religious preference, is for you to steer clear of me with yours.
Hope you don`t mind if I make transformer sound effects when we switch positions.
The guy who used to proofread Hitler`s speeches was the first grammar Nazi.
I hate brushing my teeth at night. It signifies I can`t have any more food and I`m never ready for that kind of commitment
If Kanye didn`t sing "Gold Digger" while Kim walked down the aisle, I`m not interested in hearing anything about their wedding.
Does running away from your problems count as exercising? If it is, then I`m one hell of a fitness freak
I got a new marker today that smells like grapes. Thats why I`ve been so quiet.
Bananas are the strippers of the fruit world.
If da Vinci were alive today, the "Mona Lisa" would have been called "IMG-20121020-00463.jpg"
Besides being curled up on the bathroom floor convinced I was dying from liver failure for a few hours, last night was fun.