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We`ve all been talking about your paranoia.
I wish I could afford to be as weird as I wanna be.
My wife even says "NO" in her sleep. The force is strong with this one.
Ever wonder if the McDonalds logo is the letter "m" or just an image of your butt cheeks it will cause?
The sight of naked cleavage reduces a man`s ability to reason by 50% ... Per boob.
My house looks like I`m losing a game of Jumanji.
Every time I see a preview for Hoarders, I grab the closest thing to me and immediately throw it away.
You will attract attention if wearing a skirt on a windy day. This is doubly true if you are a man.
when i was little my dad told me that the icecream man only played music when he ran out of icecream well played dad well played
lifes a laugh, start living it!
We all have that one friend that needs to learn how to whisper.
Hey, how long are you supposed to chase someone after they steal your wallet? Cause I`m getting tired of running and he`s catching up to me.
I`d care more about your feelings if they came with a toy and chicken nuggets.
When I see a shoe on the side of the road I wonder if Cinderella is in a nearby house.
I am sorry I wasn`t being completely honest when I said I was normal.