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My Therapist told me not to drink while I`m on my Meds but little does she know...I`ve been off my Meds for almost a week now!
I`m really sick and tired of food having calories...
What is it about a car that makes people think we can’t see them pick their nose?
Must be my day for Mis-Advertizing --- I just ate a Bowl of Cheerios ----- and they DIDN`T make me Happy!!!! FML!!! :-P
I just don’t want to look back and think “I could’ve eaten that.”
Ladies, how do I work my man boobs and get out of a ticket? Quick, she`s coming.
I remember 2011 like it was yesterday. ;)
Sometimes I`ll go out in public and socialize with people, those times are called alibis.
The first rule of the OCD Club is to have a second rule so there is an even number of rules.
Not to brag, but my bathroom floor is so clean I can sleep on it. Apparently.
What are the words I`m looking for? Oh yeah...Eat sh!t and die.
I`m sick and tired of people telling me to turn off lights to save the environment. I tried it once, and I nearly killed some guy on a bike.
I`ve been waiting all winter to complain about the summer heat
Nothing says IDGAF like an old lady at a slot machine wearing oxygen and smoking a cigarette.
Still have not used all the free hours from my AOL start up disk