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Refusing to go to the gym counts as resistance training, right?
If you love something set it on fire, if it... no wait, is that right? sh!t! Be right back...
Facebook looks so boring on the outside, but once you start using it, its like NARNIA BRO!
Just told my dog "Don`t walk in your own poop" and it strikes me as good advice to pass on to the rest of you as well. Please: don`t.
It doesn`t matter if the shoe fits or not, I`m still shoving it up your a$$.
Excuse me but which level of Hell is this?
The next time you feel you`re worthless.... just remember.... your organs are worth a LOT of money on the black market.
Don`t get excited girls. That bulge in my pants is just emergency Oreos.
I am now convinced that the homeless people have all of the shopping carts that do not have the wobbly wheels.
If you`re in a hole, stop digging...
If spiders ever come to the realization that people are terrified of them, we`re f*cked.
wants to jump in a cab and yell "follow that car!"
Black Friday at my house consist of pants 100% off
Never argue with someone who knows fancier words than you. Like `responsibility`
Half a dozen: because “six” is way to long.