Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Let me get this straight…a woman could pour hot wax on her legs, ripping all the hair out…and still be afraid of a spider?
If Shrek can find love, so can you. What I`m trying to say is, you look like Shrek
Some days, I think that Dexter dude has the right idea.
I`ve seen more pins in the last few days then stone cold steve austin on groundhog day..
Just wrote ‘You have no new messages’ on a piece of paper, put it in a bottle and threw it far out to sea.
I hate when my friends stand so close to me when pictures are being taken. It`s like they don`t know I plan on cropping them out later.
They say money talks, mine just waves goodbye.
There could be literally thousands of chameleons in your house right now and you don`t even know it.
Fact: if you give your boyfriend a bj each time you act crazy, he`ll not only forgive you,but eventually be thrilled when you act nuts.
I just broke a light bulb. Damn, is that 7 years of bad ideas.
I almost talked my way out of a ticket today by telling a female cop she was very attractive, but things went sour when I said "and that`s not just the booze talking either".
If someone found a legit way to make penises bigger, no one would believe them.
Nobody cleans a house faster than a man expecting to get laid.
I just realized that Mr. Rogers had the first man-cave.
Once again its friday I know its only been 7 days since the last one but feels like its been a week....