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How the hell do you call Batman during the day?
This time change has me all messed up. Driving with my hands at 11 and 3 is hard
I just found out cock fighting is done with roosters and now it feels like this 6 months of training has been wasted.
I think I`m gonna take a hot shower. Its like a normal shower, but with me in it.
My doctor asked me if I drink to excess. I told him I would drink to anything.
Everyone wants you to "be honest" until you tell them how much they suck.
thinks whoever said, "All men are created equal", obviously has never been to a nude beach!!
How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb?
Marriage counselling: Because sometimes your wife needs to hear from a professional that she`s being a bitch.
I was sitting in traffic the other day. That’s probably why I got run over.
Why is it called a "personal trainer", instead of an "exercist"?
Today is national bring your flask to work day. I just made it up. Tell the others...
Sometimes I let the words in my mind come out of my mouth. And it feels awesome! B)
I haven`t seen any new episodes of Gilligan`s Island in awhile... I hope they`re OK.
My wife and I have a perfect understanding. I don`t try to run her life and I don`t try to run mine.