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So when a couple gets engaged on Facebook for April Fools it`s okay to comment "hahaha" but the rest of the year it`s rude??
My girlfriend and I have an open relationship and will continue to do so right up until she finds out.
Have you ever wondered what a job application at Hooters is like? Maybe they just give you a bra and say, “here, fill this out”.
Phrases I hope to avoid in my obituary: “skeletal remains,” “dumpster,” “almost beyond recognition,” “dental records” and “shallow grave.”
My favorite flavor of ice cream is yes.
Everything I like is either: illegal, immoral, fattening, addictive, expensive, or impossible.
If you laid out all of the people in the world who were ever mean to me, I could then drive my car over them.
You find my yoga pants distracting ... would you like me to take them off?
iPhone 6: For people who don`t mind holding an iPad up to their ear.
As My Wife walked by, she said, "NICE PORN STASH!" which got me all excited and I preceded to show her where I hide the really raunch stuff. She then clarified that she was talking about the ugly hair I`ve been trying to grow above my lip, and now, I have neither... :)
They should just block cell phone service in movie theaters. Problem solved.
Another funny thing about this status is when you finally realize that it talks about nothing? its all ready too late to stop reading. lol
My wife asks me to remind her about stuff. That way if she forgets something, it`s my fault.
I`m not the kind of guy to distance himself from anything... Far from it.
Next time you take your dog for a walk, dress like a cop & pretend to be searching the neighborhood for drugs.