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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I just love having sex with you...Next time I hope you are there with me.
Taking down my Christmas tree would probably just be a waste of time at this point.
I`m surrounded by sex addicts & alcoholics...So glad I found you all.
Talked to someone in person today....what a pain in the a$$ that was!
"mommy watch this!" is the toddler equivalent of "hold my beer and watch this"
I don’t understand why I cant lose weight. I thought dieting was a piece of cake.
Some days, I practice positive thinking. Other days, I`m not positive I am thinking.
Two heads aren`t better than one if you`re both stupid.
I really respect people that don`t drink excessively, gamble, curse, do drugs, spend excessively, act irresponsibly and stay up late. And by "respect" I mean "don`t wanna hang out with"
You may think it`s bad grammar but I assure you it`s just laziness.
Peppermint schnapps might seem like a ridiculous drink, but nobody at work ever complains about my breath.
Do me a favor if someone tells you they don`t like me , tell them I don`t like them either.
99% of people in this world are stupid, luckily I`m in the other 2%
One thing that I have never had in the glove box of my car, is a pair of gloves.
I would like to publicly apologize to anyone I have NOT offended…I will get to you shortly.