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I get carried away sometimes… Usually because I refuse to leave.
Advantage #46 of being single. I have entire closets that are completely empty.
I wish my car was fueled by my lack of desire to go to work.
A lot of attractive people are like nice cars with the check engine light on.
When I die I want Charlie Sheen’s life to flash before my eyes.
I don`t get why people say "They were busting their ass"? Wasn`t it already cracked to begin with?
For all the parents with kids starting school I just want to say congratulations. You made it through another summer without killing your children!! I am proud of you all!!
They called themselves geologists because stoners was already taken.
Once in a while, someone amazing will come into your life. And here I am!
May you have a prosperous New Year. I may need to borrow money.
I need to find a job where I am paid solely on how awesome I am.
This is odd?!?! The hour we lost this weekend was the one when I was planning to go to the gym.
"I smell carrots. Do you smell carrots? `cause I smell carrots..." ~ Snowmen.
My problem has always been a Constipated Brain and my mouth has the Runs.......
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She`s 97 today and we don`t know where the hell she is.