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Two interesting facts for you: 1) Some pine cones look like poop. 2) I`m never kicking anything wearing flip flops again.
Decided to make a life altering decision today.... When I think of it I`ll let you know
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels. LOL. But on the up side, it is fun!! ;)
Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes and lottery tickets, are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?
I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. “Alright, get in the basket”
Before criticizing my taste, remember that I like you.
You can`t fix stupid, but you can always drink more beer.
I have a kid in Africa I inoculate, feed, clothe and send to school for only $1 day. It cost a lot to send him over there though.
I`m working harder than an ugly stripper!!
When you are dead, you don’t know you are dead but other people do. The same applies when you are stupid.
I would just like to personal thank all the people in my life that have caused me so many problems, for making me the as$ I am today!
LIFE always offers you a second chance,its called TOMORROW
My favorite part of a marathon is watching the reaction of runners who grab my plastic cup of vodka.
Getting another set of teeth would be much more useful at age 60 than age 6.
My rabbit died yesterday… Now he’s just some bunny that I used to know…