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This status was brought to you by me being bored on the toilet.
The most amazing thing about the internet is how it allows you, with the click of a few buttons, to do absolutely nothing with your life.
I can`t wait to procrastinate.
Pet stores should post "Chameleon" on empty reptile cages just to see how long people would stand and look.
Very productive day today, turd-wise
God created the world in 7 days but took 9 months to create me. So clearly I’m a big deal...
hate it when someone says they are miserable when their profile picture says otherwise.
I`m available if anyone needs me to ruin a good thing before it even starts.
My life may be a mess but at least I didn`t make a harlem shake video.
Don’t get me wrong. I totally hear what you’re saying…I just don’t care.
"I get knocked down, but I get up again, You`re never gonna keep me down" ~Bowling pins
Beach people are fickle. One minute you`re the loser with a bucket of cold fries and the next they`re terrified of the Lord of Seagulls.
If you don`t believe that women will actually fight over a pair of shoes, you`ve never watched The Wizard of Oz!
Thanksgiving: "Let`s give thanks for the stuff we have." Black Friday: "Ok, let`s get all new stuff."
I just wanna find a girl who loves me for my money. That way I wouldn`t feel bad for loving her for her body.