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Hendrix didn`t need to twerk on stage. He performed the old fashioned way, relying only on his musical talents and near lethal doses of LSD.
I like the parts of the day when food happens.
The problem with frozen yogurt is that it`s not ice cream.
Partying on my level requires years of training.
This status was brought to you by me being bored on the toilet.
It`s just a mater of time before bathrooms will eventually be called Selfie Rooms
I`m so unlucky with women? I visited a massage parlour the other day..and they told me it was "self - service"
A gentle reminder about Daylight Savings Time: If you thought last Monday sucked, this one will prove to be much, much worse.
I am not looking for a one night stand, 2 hours will be plenty enough.
I`m at my best mathematically when I wake up before the time my alarm is set for
I`d like to be poor for a day, because being poor everyday gets to be real annoying after awhile.
Does anyone else get scared when a text reads "Can I ask you a question?"
Admit it, you`ve answered Dora at least once in your life.
Obviously the movie "the good wife" is not based on a true story. It`s fiction people.
Subway only exists because we`re all too damn lazy to throw a sandwich together. "Could you lay meat on that bread for me? Here`s $8."