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Hey ladies breastfeeding in public,...Why don`t you ever smile in my pictures?
I’m starting to think plates are called china because most of them look the same.
Saw a post stating "taking it one day at a time," so I responded "me too. That`s how days work."
Age has its advantages. Too bad I can`t remember what they are.
My neck, my back, my Netflix and my snacks.
It’s funny that old people need handicap parking spots but they always manage to pick up a penny off the ground.
You could completely eliminate the semicolon key and 90% of America wouldn`t notice... until they needed to wink at somebody.
It`s not their fault, per se, but at some point, Crayola has to be held responsible for continuing to make crayons nostril-width.
Facebook made billions by saying “Hey, remember that kid you haven’t seen since the third grade? He’s a parent who hates Obama now.”
I saw a sign that said "watch for children" and I thought "that`s a fair trade."
Hey, sorry I missed your call. I saw your name on the caller ID and I didn’t want to ruin my day by talking to you.
To a cop, doing donuts in a parking lot has a whole different meaning.
When I was growing up, I was taught to walk and talk and when I was grown, I was told to sit down and STFU!!!
If your pet has its own FB page, it might be time for a reality check...
Next on SportsCenter: Where is Tim Tebow watching the Super Bowl and how will that impact the game?