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I put the pro in inappropriate.
I`ll be thankful when this thankful month is over.
People like you remind me how lucky I am that my cell phone provider has a block option! Just sayin.
7,000 people were treated in emergency rooms for injuries sustained from fireworks. Don’t be a statistic, let your friend light the fuse
apparently telling my girlfriend her acuracy is as high as a magic 8 ball wasn`t a good idea.
There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing next to you right now, and you`d have no Idea...
Imagine taking your girlfriend to your friends house for the 1st time, and her phone automatically connects to his password protected wifi.
Note to self: Asking the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your Facebook status in no way helps you get out of a DUI.
Was up all night wondering, why do people compliment me for having all my sh!t together & yet still insult me for being full of it?
Co-worker: My wife`s an angel. Me: You`re lucky, mine`s still alive.
The closest I ever got to murdering is when I held a Oreo cookie in milk until the bubbles stop.
You would think a popular place like the Krusty Krab would have more than two employees.
If you step on someone`s foot, they open their mouth just like trash cans.
They`re having a Jamaican hair-do day tomorrow at work. I`m dreading it.
Sometimes I get mad about having to unload the dishwasher but then I remember a machine just washed my dishes for me.