Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
People hate the truth. Luckily, the Truth doesn`t give a $#!t.
I`ve never been as disappointed as my dog just was when she realized the food I dropped was a carrot.
Getting out of bed feels like the worst thing that’s ever happened to me ... every time it happens.
Due to inflation, a picture is now only worth 700 words.
Well I was gonna donate blood today until the lady got all personal and started asking "who´s blood is this?" and "How did you get it?"
I hate Russian nesting dolls. They`re so full of themselves
If you have alphabet fridge magnets and morals, you probably shouldn`t invite me over.
Whoever said the camera adds 10 pounds should stop eating cameras.
Getting drunk and listening to loud music solves 87% of all life`s problems
I bet short people get really excited when they accidentally hit their head on things.
Tried to explain Twitter to my 80 year old Mother, pretty sure she is now insane.
I used to be poor. Then I bought a dictionary, and now I`m impecunious.
.Monday: No. Tuesday: Ugh. Wednesday: Why. Thursday: Omg. Friday: Finally. Saturday: Yes. Sunday: Crying.
I hate it when I meow at cats and they don`t meow back. Unbelievably rude
I bet there are muppets that have thought about shanking Elmo.