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It may look like I’m in deep thought, but 99% of the time I’m just thinking about what food I’m going to eat later.
If anyone could read my mind I`m pretty sure they`d be traumatized for life.
I`ve been told my posts are too depressing but what does it matter. We`ll all be dead soon anyway.
Laugh now because when I die, I`m coming back to haunt you.
Yeah, I was dropped as a baby. Into a pool of sheer awesome.
I regret nothing but mostly because I can`t remember most of the stuff I should probably regret
This morning I woke up to a surprise BJ. Thats the last time I fall asleep on the train with my mouth open.
I bet Waldo`s parents are worried sick.
Any time you feel lonely, remember, its your fault nobody likes you.
A normal person is just someone you don`t know well enough yet.
I`d have better people skills if I worked with better people.
What do you mean my bathrobe is inappropriate? Isn`t it casual Friday?!
Did you know , that if you use asterisk , you can do anything you want ? * gets on a t-rex and gallops away into the sunset *
Please don`t come to my garage sale if you`ve ever let me borrow something.
My "Savings Account" is just several pairs of unwashed jeans on the floor that may or may not still have change in the pockets.