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Nothing is impossible. I know a man that once guessed correctly why a woman was mad at him.
I`m not saying I`m lazy, but someone wrote "wash me" on my car so I just wrote back "nah"
What does it mean if the Holy Water sizzles when it hits your skin? (asking for a friend)
Famous people could rob banks wearing masks of themselves and they`d never get caught.
Next time you over hear a stranger giving out their number. Text them details of what they are wearing. It`s so fun to watch them freak out!
Someone said to me earlier, "Your face looks very familiar". I said, "I know, I`ve had it a long time."
Junk food would be a lot easier to avoid if it actually tasted like junk.
"Trust your gut" is terrible advice. How can I put trust in something that tells me to eat an entire pizza when I get drunk?
Treasure the years with your children while they are still distracted by bubbles.
I don`t think stupid people understand how much effort goes into not punching them in the face
Technically, if you don`t cut the cake, it`s still just one slice.
I am convinced God only created six days and the devil added Monday.
Call me old school, but I think your shorts should be longer than your private parts.
I don`t understand why people pay therapists when I`ll tell them what`s wrong with them for free.
Nothing says you mean business more than putting on a bib before you eat a girl out