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Does ke$ha go by k€sha in Europe?
The average person farts 14 times a day. Finally, I`m above average at something!!
It`s really ironic that I mostly use my driver`s license to buy stuff that impairs my ability to drive.
My doctor said he`s been practicing for 30 years. When will he start doing his job for real?
I never forget a breast, I mean face. I never forget a face.
Men are trained from birth that happiness comes from either boobs or a bottle.
This morning I woke up to a surprise BJ. Thats the last time I fall asleep on the train with my mouth open.
Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.
When I`m older, I`m going to buy one of those Volkswagen Bugs. Only because I have a excuse to hit my wife every time we go somewhere.
Honestly, Officer, I wouldn`t have pulled over had I known you were just going to criticize me
"With a stroke of a pen your name can live on forever in a quote!... Unknown,
Would an obsession with the imperial measurement system be considered a foot fetish?
I just made an emergency survival kit. You know, for emergencies. It looks like all my other kits, but don`t be fooled; this one is red and has more liquor.
No matter how stupid you feel, remember, Little Red Riding Hood couldn`t figure out a talking wolf in drag wasn`t her grandmother.
They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. It`s true... The less I see of someone, the more I like them!