Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
She asked me for time and distance. I guess she wants to calculate velocity.
I hate it when I put on my apple bottom jeans and cannot find my boots with da fur!!
There`s no law against twerking...but apparently it`s still frowned upon during jury duty.
Dear grumpy people: donuts are only $.99
I don`t just burn bridges, I drain the lake, fill it with concrete, and build a shopping mall on that bitch!
Friendship must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, nudity, inappropriateness, and shenanigans.
Adding "and sh!t" to the end of a sentence to make it sound cooler and sh!t.
"Spring Ahead" this weekend for Daylight Saving Time proves there is a much quicker way than Facebook to lose an hour in your life....
There is always light at the end of the tunnel. It might be a train or a truck so dont let it hit you.
How to Train Your Dragon offers no practical dragon training information. NONE. Zero stars.
The best thing about having male genitals is sharing it with people who don`t.
You fake your smile daily, then judge people for getting a fake tan.
Facebook should have an "I`ve seen enough" button.
Dear human, you get mad when i wake you up and also get mad when i dont. Sincerely confused, Alarm Clock.
I`m awesome ... Don`t question it, just deal with it.