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I force my dog to watch animal abuse commercials just to show him how good he has it.
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
Happy Hallogivemas!!!!!! It`s the time of year when the stores sell Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas stuff all on ONE aisle!
You’d think that with as much time as women spend looking at their ass in the mirror they would be able to reverse into a parking spot.
A new study suggests that a future study will completely contradict this study.
Life is like a box of chocolates. They never last as long for fat people.
People complain about auto-correct but it is helpful 99% of the titties.
No, an erection is not considered personal growth.
During a test..people look up for inspiration, down in desperation, and left and right for information
I WON THE LOTTERY, SCREW YOU ALL! ... Sorry, just practicing
Boobs are to men what light bulbs are to moths.
You have to PAY for a speeding ticket?! I thought it was a reward for beating other drivers..
A police officer just knocked on my door to tell me my dogs were chasing kids down the road on bikes.. Umm.. My dogs don`t even own bikes?
Sexual education classes in school should just be listening to a baby cry for 5 hours straight while watching the same cartoon on repeat.
Ugh, I forgot to go to the gym today. That`s 9 years in a row now...