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That awkward moment when im in the Airport, I walk through the metal detector, and my abs of steel set it off
Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.
There`s no better reminder to visit your dentist than a trip to Walmart.
Apparently, when asked by a Traffic Cop "Where you going in such a hurry?", "To your sister`s house!" is not considered respectful to a law enforcement official......
“Shh.. Do you hear that?” “What? I heard nothing.” “Exactly, it’s the sound of no one caring.”
Where there`s a will I want to be in it
If I gave you a penny for your thoughts I`d totally be expecting some change back.
All men approve of premarital sex......until they have a daughter.
People are obsessed with the front seat of the car but when you get in a bus, you go straight to the back
The problem with the world is intelligent people are full of doubts, while stupid people are full of confidence.
Shout out to people wondering what the opposite of in is.
Life in the fast lane ? Heck, I live in oncoming traffic.
Finally in bed. No better time to start thinking about every possible thing that has or ever could happen.
Doormats are a gateway rug.
Remember before you give the finger from the safety of your car, not everyone has a schedule to keep.