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They don`t make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery.
Long story short, I love summaries.
You women may be surprised to learn that making us sleep on the couch isn`t that bad. It`s kinda manly, makes us feel like we are camping......with a really angry bear nearby.
The worst thing about that guy who posts non-stop gym updates is that all that exercise is gonna make him live longer.
Health tip: There`s never a `safe` time to shake a teenage boy`s hand. Never.
What`s the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller" ?
Do one thing every day that scares you. Or one thing that scares other people.
If you’re gonna keep being so attractive, I’m gonna need you to make out with me.
Car sex is not fun...that tailpipe BURNS
Relationships, Marriages, work and children are what keep alcohol companies in business.
Interesting fact: Prior to the creation of hummus and ranch dressing nobody ate uncooked vegetables.
Google must be a woman...it knows everything.
Mom in poetic mood ....Asked me to express emptiness .... I showed her my wallet ........ n m cheek still burns .... :-p :-p
It’s amazing how everyone cries for free speech until someone says something that they don’t like.
All my life I’ve wanted to learn to juggle. I just never had the balls to do it.