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4 out of 5 dentists agree that 1 out of 5 dentists is just doing it for the attention.
That awkward moment, when you wake up with one sock on.
I got a letter from my crush on Valentine`s Day. Well, technically it`s a restraining order but still....
Nothing good has ever come from answering a call from a blocked phone number.
There are no problems which cannot be solved through suitable applications of high explosives.
Did you hear that? That was the sound of soccer being irrelevant in the US for another 4 years..
The only thing I ever throwback on Thursdays are drinks
Not to brag, but I have completely mastered the right way to do everything wrong.
Iām not shy, Iām just really good out figuring out who is not worth talking to.
Home: Where I can look ugly and enjoy it.
I like confusing kids by telling them I`m older than the internet
Roses are red, so is my wine. Refill my glass and I`ll be just fine.
So Stevie Wonder is going to become father to triplets next year. I guess he didn`t see that coming...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how likely is it that your dumbass will say 11?
I got carded at the liquor store. While getting my ID out my Blockbuster card fell out. He laughed and said "Never mind."