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Shouldn`t there have been at least one scene in The Karate Kid where Daniel`s mom was like "Why are you constantly in that old man`s shed?"
I log off because I`m bord... I log on 5min later because I`m bord
Next time a stranger talks to me when I`m alone, I will look at them shocked and whisper quietly...."You can see me???"
I always tell myself there is no such thing as a stupid question, but everyday someone tries to change my mind
Some people want to get in shape before they go to a gym. Which is the equivalent of losing weight so you can go on a diet
I`m looking up in the sky and I have no idea which cloud has all my data
If Jesus is the reason for the season.......why is the church parking lot empty and Wal Marts is full?
I`m placing myself in "time-out" until I`m able to play nice with others! This may take a few hours as there are stupid people everywhere!
I use a blender to make protein shakes in my office every day. That way when I use it to mix up a pitcher of margaritas no one even notices.
Next time some one does something REALLY stupid, just smack them and say, "Man, did you see the size of that bug?"
My decision making skills closely resemble that of a squirrel when crossing the street.
Advertising taught me that hair conditioner makes you move in slow motion.
So I turned my phone onto " airplane mode" and threw it up into the air. Worst transformer ever!
I`m starting to wish I were a werewolf so I`d have a better reason for waking up nude in public with no memory of how I got there.
I wish all these vegetarians would stop eating my food´s food!