Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My bank account is more like a countdown to homelessness.
It’s the getting ahead that I’m running behind on.
If I could choose any one mythological creature to become alive & real, I`d have to pick…My girlfriend.
I think my guardian angel drinks.
I read an actual newspaper today! For those of you who don`t understand, a newspaper is like the Internet but made of paper.
Another World`s Oldest Man has died. This is beginning to look suspicious.
If you were born after 1990, you will never know the frustration of having to rewind your parents porn tapes to the exact same spot...
I bet my mom is looking down on me right now, wherever she is. She`s not dead, just very condescending.
Do you ever wake up and kiss someone next to you and appreciate being alive? I did this and was chased out of the bus
The most impressive thing about how cowboys used to have showdowns at high noon is that they could get two people to be on time to something
I wonder where superman changes now that there are no more phone booths
I wonder how the Never-ending story is doing.
Newton`s third law of emotion. For every male action there is a female overreaction.
With my luck, I`ll die and get reincarnated as myself.
If I get a million likes on Facebook......not a damn thing will change.