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The pill is the second best thing women can put in their mouths to prevent pregnancy.
Sometimes knowing exactly where you are does not make you any less lost.
We laughed, we cried, we tried another credit card.
I just leased a 2013 lamborghini, no payments till January. Those f@kin Mayans better be right.
I`m on this great new diet called "sleep through breakfast"
Some people are training as complainers like it is a competitive sport
I may not be the richest guy...or the smartest guy...or the funniest guy...or the best-looking guy...or the .....:( Forget it, now I`m depressed.
I hate when people post lyrics from songs, but I will survive.
Why put off `til tomorrow what you can premeditate today.
If karma doesn`t hit you, I gladly will.
Police officer: Ma`am do you know why I pulled you over? Me: I`m just as confused as you are.
Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.
I was just thinking, which is the biggest thing I plan on accomplishing today.
Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
If you emphasize the ‘po’ in police they’re probably already after you.