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Make somebody happy today... mind your own business!!!
It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.
No, I would not like to know what fruit my body is shaped like.
Doctor: How is your headache? Me: She is fine.
I don`t always drink beer. But when I do, I always lie about not always drinking beer.
Dancing in the 70`s: I have absolutely no idea what I am pointing at
I drank an energy drink so if anyone needs help packing, pushing your car to a gas station or shaking the leaves off a tree
Are you one of those people that get hurt from things posted on Facebook? You can easily avoid that by keeping your a$$ off of Facebook.
Just rescued a Coca Cola that was trapped in the fridge!
Life is a constant battle between my love of food & not wanting to get fat.
I saw the city workers putting up a sign on my street and it says Bumpy road ... so I put up a sign that says ,, FIX IT !
It`s so cold out I`ve turned 50 Shades Of Blue!
Do people with cats not know about dogs?
Adam Levine beating me out for sexiest man contest is complete bullsh*t.
I can`t go to sleep if any of my apps need to be updated, but will drive my car with the check engine light until it explodes.