Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
i honestly hate saying sorry but when i do i really mean it :-)
Relax,,, We`re all crazy.. It`s not a competition.
Just printed out 50 copies of today’s weather forecast to carry around with me today because I’m just not in the mood for small talk.
Fellas; There’s no heterosexual way of taking a selfie.
You should have been a chicken and just went home.
Show me a bunch of people with type A personalities, and I`ll show you a control group.
Just saw someone eat a kit kat bar without breaking off each individual piece and now I can`t stop twitching.
Some people never go crazy...... What truly horrible lives they must live
Well h€ll, I was going to post a status about my p€cker, but it was too long.
Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves at the same time he does.
I`m paying my taxes with a smile, but they wrote me back saying they want cash.
I just kicked a can in my driveway and somehow ended up with a goal against Brazil.
Do you have neighbors?.. Do you have extension cords?..... Are you paying too much for electricity?
I`m not real excited that the wrapping on my toilet paper said `100% Recycled`.
To all the girls who think all guys are the same: Who told you to try them all? Whore.