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When I come home 4 the holidays I throw $40 on the table & say "Look we`re keeping the thermostat at 75, and we`re turning on some lights."
Calling someone with glasses “four eyes” isn’t an insult. Know what else has four eyes? Two sharks. Now you feel stupid.
good boys go to heaven bad boys go every where
Why does everybody call it a "hot water heater?" It`s really a cold water heater.
My personality is 30% the last movie I watched.
I got my stomach by doing as many crunches as I can everyday. Usually either Nestle or Captain.
I would run a marathon. If the only 2 bars were 26.2 miles apart and the first one was closed.
I grew up living paycheck to paycheck. But through hard work and perseverance, I now live direct deposit to direct deposit.
Hope you don`t mind if I make transformer sound effects when we switch positions.
Patience is what I have when there are too many witnesses.
If I can`t convince you, I will sure as hell confuse you.
I fell asleep with infomercials playing on the TV.... I woke up with a strange desire to do P90X with a Shake Weight while in my Snuggie
I am not retreating! I am advancing in a different direction!
Hi you`ve reached my voicemail,,, Please leave your name, number and a damn good reason why this conversation couldn`t be done over text
You`re pretty cocky for someone with such a small ... vocabulary.