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there is a big difference between spray tanned and looking like you rolled in nacho chesse doritos.
One day you will die, but every other day you won’t. So that’s pretty great, right? ... Inspirational posts are hard.
Hello is this HP? I’d like to make a return. I ordered a Laser Jet and you sent me a printer.
Everyone is gifted......But not everyone opens their present
I changed my name in my daughters phone to God...just texted her and said "I saw that"
I`m tired of being the better person. One day I`d like to be the bitch that they claim I am.
I could snap at any moment. Seriously, with either hand.
There are plenty of fish in the sea, but I like women.
Yes, I used to "dance like no one is watching"; at least until Google Earth sent me a certificate for ten free lessons.
"I understand your logic, but let`s try to look at this more emotionally." - women
I like to think the automatic soap dispenser is just really happy to see me.
i just opened a fortune cookie and it started with the word unfortuneatly
I had lunch with a chess player yesterday. It took him 20 minutes to pass the salt.
I recently added squats to my workouts by moving the beer into the bottom shelf of the fridge.
Why do people freak out about dolphins getting caugh in tuna nets? What about the tuna?