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I only drink alcohol because there aren`t enough ways to eat it.
I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
I had hopes and dreams. Now I have vodka and Facebook.
I left a note in the break room at work saying I had found five bucks. I hadn`t found any money, but it was worth five dollars to learn which of my co-workers is a lying douchebag.
Life Rule #17: Always hold out your hand when someone is counting money in front of you, ...just incase.
Perfect has 7 letters and so does meeeeee ....Coincidence? I think not.
Can we just call it Zealand now? How long has it been? Move on people.
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
How am I supposed to get any work done with all this work I have to do?
I spend hours on Facebook and then think, “Well, that was pointless”
I hate it when auto-correct changes my "omg" to "OMG" like, chill out, I`m not that surprised.
Someone just asked me if I was `happily` married. Single people are adorable.
It`s all rainbows and sunshine until he breaks your heart, then it`s voodoo dolls and arson reports.
Braille dictionary for sale. Must see to appreciate.
My pet rock turned 4,054,870,001 today