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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I don’t understand the point of lap-dancing clubs. If I wanted a woman to take all my money and sexually frustrate me, I’d stay at home with the wife.
Whoa! Thank you warning label! I was actually considering using my new floor lamp in the shower.
#Redskins QB Robert Griffin III back after surgery to reconstruct the ACL and repair the LCL in his right knee. He`s now RG 3.2
I really have important work to get done, but I really just want to sit here and complete a quiz on what percentage redneck I am..
I havend`t heard from DAEMON MAILER in years, I hope he`s okay.
When I was younger I thought I was bipolar. Turns out I was just an a$$hole who was happy about it.
If a worker gets fired & banned from the Lego company, have they been "blocked"?
If anyone is interested, I’ll be signing books tomorrow at Barnes & Noble from 1:00 PM until I’m escorted out by security.
When you go in the other room I ask your dog what you look like naked.
Everyone is beautiful in their own way, your way just happens to be in the dark.
I`m not opposed to manscaping, but I don`t see the point of cutting the grass until somebody takes interest in the property.
I usually want to post intelligent and witty comments. But I end up posting stupid and funny ones so my friends can understand them.
The real trouble with reality is that there`s no background music.
A "Tap Out" sticker on your mini van still makes it a mini van.
I can`t wait to miss the upcoming season of American Idol.