Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Who needs dance lessons when you`ve got alcohol?!
I like to go on job interviews wearing an eye patch and switch eyes when the interviewer looks down.
Diet tip: your pants will never get too tight if you don’t wear any.
It’s always awkward the first time you hold hands with someone because they usually want to know who you are and why you just grabbed them.
Ladies, not every guy who talks to you wants to bang you. Some of us know that you have booze and snacks in your purse.
People who try to test my patience don`t realize it`s an exam I don`t plan on passing
The invention of the shovel must have been ground-breaking.
My daughter wants to know when the hamster we "planted" in the garden will start growing.
why hello there stalker! Enjoying my profile?(=
Ways to get to my heart: 1) food ... that’s pretty much it
Same sex marriage? Heck, I know couples who would be happy with a SOME sex marriage
There is no evidence that exists that life should be taken seriously.
#1738 "The fact that people use the wrong "your" and "there" yet spell "Bieber" correctly bothers me."-dd
It would serve me better if they put shopping carts in the middle of the store where my pride realizes I have too much sh!t to carry.
I’m not single and I’m not committed… I’m simply on reserve for the one who deserves…