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My wife and I toss a coin to settle arguments; heads she wins, tails I apologise.
I am sorry I had feelings. I`ll replace them with jokes right away.
I put ALL my eggs in one basket at the grocery store.... Today..!!
I eat cake every day because I know somewhere out there, it`s someone`s birthday and I need to show respect.
Better ingredients. Better pizza. Horrible acting. Papa Johns.
My son asked what it is like to be married, so I deleted all the music on his ipod except 1 song.
Note to self: don’t set your password reminder as “you should know this”
I have no problem giving credit when credit is due. It’s giving payment when payment is due that I seem to struggle with.
Just a reminder that you don’t have to tell Facebook goodnight. You can just stop talking.
There is no angry way to say `bubbles.`
As I was signing into my email account instead of yahoo.com I typed hayoo.com...nope, it wasn`t right but I got to thinking it would be quite appropriate, afterall, we`re trying to get someone`s attention, right?
Do not keep all your work for tomorrow, always remember you can also do it the day after tomorrow.. Be lazy, Think crazy.
That mind-blowing moment when you realize chores were really the crap your parents didn’t want to do.
If women would start naming their periods like hurricanes it would be alot easier for us men to remember which argument you are referring to.
Friday the 13th is still better than Monday the whatever.