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Kids....because who doesn`t enjoy a fun game of "What the hell is that smell and whose room is it coming from?"
Mosquito (noun) - Mother Nature`s way of getting you to slap yourself.
You`d think my neighbors could have the decency to ignore me back.
If you are noticing this notice, you will have noticed this notice is not worth noticing
MAN LAW 101: No man should ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man.
I love nostalgia. Not sure what it means, but it reminds me of magical words from my childhood.
99% of people in this world are stupid. Luckily I`m part of the other 5%.
Be nice to a nerd. Prevent a super-villain.
Scientist Proved That There are more Than 124786534688644478 People Living In This world who are Too Lazy To Read The Above Number...!!!
Sometimes you run into people who just make your day more bearable. Those people are called bartenders.
I have nothing to update. I`m just making it look like I`m doing something at a party so people won`t talk to me.
Every Girls Night Out has at least one crier.
I`m not getting married till Pizza Hut allows gift registry.
The restraining order doesn`t mean we can`t hangout. It just says I can`t get within 50 ft of you. So you wanna play catch or frisbee or something?
If you fall, I`ll be there - Floor