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How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
Love is like hearing your favorite song for the first time. Then listening to it over and over again till you hate that song.
If my job was to make health questionnaires, I`d slip in random stuff like "How fast can you run backwards?"
No one asks the tough questions, like why are drug dealers on the metric system?
It`s hard to diet when your favorite exercise is chewing...
We`re all here because we`re not all there...
Whoever says "you need two to tango" obviously hasn`t seen me drunk.
Arguing politics is like trying to convince someone that their baby isn`t cute.
I just found love.....its on page 369 in dictionary
Dogs are great. You can count on them to alert you of danger...Also, children passing by, squirrels and gusts of wind they don`t like.
I am fluent in three languages: English, Profanity, and Sarcasm
If you`re going to be two faced, at least make one of them pretty
I paid My 11 year old $10 to do the dishes, then on her way to the bathroom I mugged her...because, you know, life lesson.
Don’t get me wrong, you are hot as hell, I am just too lazy to stalk right now.
I`d like to help you out ... Which way did you come in?