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My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me.
I love going for walks in the rain. You can pee your pants and no one will be the wiser.
Now that the Summer is over, I can finally stop pretending to be on a diet
People all around the world are out doing interesting and productive things right now. You are reading this.
If you can’t face it, moon it.
Well it`s about time I get in line for that Star Wars movie
Hi, we`re a group of teens who solve mysteries! We wanna be taken seriously so we wrote a theme song about how we can`t ever find our dog.
I`m gonna hang a Batman outfit in my closet to screw with myself when I get Alzheimer`s.
Apparently my socks never remember “The Buddy System” whenever I wash them.
Looking forward to `Breaking Bad` merchandise. Especially the cook book.
Car commercials make driving around in empty parking structures look fun and normal and not suspicious or kidnappy.
Girl scout cookies suck! I ate like 20 boxes of thin mints and I`m not any thinner.
Just saw a homeless dude with a sign reading "Hungry Hungry Hobo"... I shouldn`t laugh right?
Ringing in the “New Year” apparently is not a valid excuse for showing up to work 3 hours late… in October.
Was hating my job until I drove past a grown man dressed as a Taco on the side of the road. Thanks again Perspective