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You know it`s been a good day when you finally take your pajamas off - and put some new ones on.
Had a big mix up at the store today... Apparently, when the woman said strip down facing me,she was referring to my credit card.
How many men does it take to open a beer? None! It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.
One day we the women will rap the men lets see how they like it!
How about first you show me your benefits and THEN I`ll let you know if we can be friends.
Of course I can keep a secret. It’s the people I tell it to who can’t.
Alex, I`ll take WTF for a $1000
Don`t talk to me like I`m stupid until you know for sure.
I tried to open a can of WhoopAss,, but it popped like a can of biscuits and scared me.
May your Labor Day contain no Labor!
I found the key to happiness ... Stay away from a$$holes.
It needs more cowbell!!
A world without Facebook would be much more productive.
I try and inspire at least one person everyday to leave me the f*ck alone.
My husband told me he needed more space ... So I locked him outside.