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Im at a beer tasting today..so far they all taste the same out of this case...well done Budweiser...well done!!
Today would be a great day to leave a note on a random car that says "I know what you did".
They say you`re not supposed to go to the grocery store when you`re hungry. It`s been several days now, what should I do?
The sense of success when you’ve had something stuck between your teeth and you manage to free it after 25 mins of tactical tongue pressure.
Ladies, if he calls you crazy, don`t get upset. Crazy girls are better in bed so take it as a compliment. But stab him, just in case...
Home is where I can look ugly and enjoy it.
You look in good shape!!! Round is a shape isn`t it???
I`m going to start a band called "Free Beer" because when people see a sign that says "Free Beer Tomorrow at 9PM" everyone is going to be there.
I have very poor ninja skills when it comes to staring at cleavage.
Another funny thing about this status is when you finally realize that it talks about nothing? its all ready too late to stop reading. lol
I have heard of women that aren`t crazy, but I`ve also heard of Unicorns.
"Sarcasm is a body`s natural defense against stupid."
When the zombie apocalypse happens, I’m going to blast Michael Jackson’s “Thriller”, while the zombies chase us, just to lighten the mood.
I`m sorry. . . I didn`t mean to stare. . . it`s just that I have never seen stupid of this magnitude up close before
I wonder if there`s a margarita somewhere out there thinking about me, too.