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That microwavable meal was delicious and filling! – no one ever
BREAKING NEWS: New $100 bills start circulating yesterday. I wish this affected my life in any way.
Avoid parking tickets by leaving your wipers on high.
Laugh now because when I die, I`m coming back to haunt you.
It makes me sad that so many women feel like they have to wear makeup and clothes.
It would take a pretty stupid robot to replace me.
You know what’s huge in Japan? ..Sumo wrestlers. ;)
Whenever I read: "Do not exceed recommended dose" I always think, "Challenge accepted!"
I prefer not to think before I speak. I like being just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.
Girl rule. A girl will only compliment another girl that is uglier than they are.
If you`re not employed by the Secret Service, there is absolutely no reason to have a Bluetooth on your ear.
Relationship status: Private. The only way for it to be.
Today I saw a cat with three legs, which was much better than finding the alternative, just a cat`s leg.
A group hug in my family means someone wants to use you as a napkin.
hell yeah !!!! i was the lucky sperm !!!!!