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I have many thoughts. I just can´t remember any of them.
Of course everyone seems sexy in a nightclub. There’s liquor and you can’t hear them.
Ah Friday...my second favorite "F" word!
Scientists discover that caterpillars can whistle. Am I the only one wondering if they`re concentrating their efforts on the wrong things?
You have a point. It`s just not very sharp
Like medicine, some people should only be allowed to talk in doses. Like 30 sentences three times a day.
To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present, they are due back at the library today.
I don`t understand why you guys complain about never being able to finish a tube of chapstick, it usually only takes me 2 or 3 bites.
B!tch, I will slap you by accident on purpose.
Are you smarter than a 5th grader? Wait… Regular or Asian?
Looks like you have a lot on your mind. Do you wanna drink about it?
Guys just want a virgin porn star and girls just want a dangerous safe guy.
I used to think paramedics were ghost doctors.
A dating site based on Netflix viewing compatibility.
I just don`t get life insurance. Why would I want to give my family a financial incentive to kill me?