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i joined new gym yesterday. i did 3 sets of selfies on each machine
Liquor makes me happy, You ..... not so much.
Why doesn’t McDonalds have an order taking microphone on both sides of the car, yet?
Let`s all play a game: For every political post, you must post 5 non political posts. #makefacebookhappyagain
My mother is the strongest woman I know. You should see how far she could throw a shoe.
no one is perfect thats why pencil have eraser
"People should just mind their own business," probably the funniest thing I`ve ever read on a social networking site.
Surveys say 1 out of every 2 people suck at math. It`s terrible that 80% of the population can`t even do the easiest calculations.
My brain has too many tabs open.
I`ve stopped drinking for good. I only drink for evil now.
I would like to publicly apologize to anyone I have NOT offended…I will get to you shortly.
Do a little dance... Drink a lot of rum... Fall down tonight...
Do you think people will start blaming auto correct for there marriages breaking down?
I only say "bless you" twice. If you sneeze a third time I assume it didn`t take and you`re a demon who must be destroyed.
I´m up way too early for someone who wasn´t planning on seizing the day.