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You can make your life more entertaining by simply reaching out, and getting to know a whore.
I had four E`s and LSD last night. Such an awful start to a game of scrabble!!
When you’re old, my kids will be in charge. I’m so, so sorry.
People saying "Laugh my a$$ off" and still having an a$$ next time I see them is the reason I have trust issues.
I`ve started an elimination diet, It`s where I eliminate anyone from my life who talks about their diet.
If every porkshop was perfect, we wouldn`t have hot dogs.
"That wasn`t chicken in the Chow Mein" I`d make a great Fortune Cookie writer.
Hate having friends? Just chew with your mouth open.
I like my women like I like my motorcycles. Not ridden by all my friends.
Sometimes late at night.. I dig a hole in the back yard by lantern light.. Sure keeps my nosy neighbors on their toes.. :|
I may be delusional but at least I`m going to Mars in November.
I`m often a little confused when people call me insane because, to be honest, I`m still just warming up.
Porn is the only type of entertainment where "not watching the whole thing" means it was good.
I could really go for a vegetable sandwich! Maybe some tomatoes, some spinach, cucumbers... With cheese. And a hamburger patty. And bacon. Ok I really want a bacon cheeseburger.
All this time I thought Bi-Polar was big white bear with no sexual preference.