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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

wondering if today is a good day to implement my plan...
The black sheep always have the best stories.
Sometimes I feel like giving up...Then I remember I have a lot of motherf*ckers to prove wrong
If your girlfriend claims to never look at your Facebook profile, change your status to "single" and wait 5 minutes.
I never said I was better than everyone else, just better than you.
I have a moderate amount of skills in life, but one of those things does NOT include the ability to stop eating.
The closest I`ve come to being an athlete is using Adobe Acrobat.
Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed, it ruled.
The best thing about smartphones is that you don`t have to refold maps anymore.
If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
Whoever invented grass must be a billionaire that stuff is everywhere
Dreams are like pictures. I don`t care about yours unless I`m in them.
Cleavage is like the sun, you can look... But its dangerous to stare
Is running in front of cars some sort of gang initiation for squirrels? - Bfanch
Gravity didn`t seem this strong twenty-five years ago.