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My mind is exceptionally quiet.... I am suspicious that I am up to something I don`t want myself to know about.
My business card is just a label I peeled off a beer bottle.
You know what’s more annoying than cops? People who buy old refurbished cop cars and keep the spotlight attached. We all hate you.
OMG ... I hate waiting in lines ... I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect already.
How do you people have the time to hate a stranger on the internet?
A graham cracker is just a white dude selling coke in the ghetto.
That awkward moment when you’re yelling at someone and you mess up a word.
Not to brag, but I’m pretty good in bed. I don’t snore or steal covers, and I only pee if something startles me.
Fact: Pornos aren`t based on actual events.
If my life was a GPS it would constantly be recalculating
Just assume that we aren’t close enough for you to send me a game invites on Facebook.
I wish the minutes after hitting the snooze button lasted as long as microwave minutes.
A friend of mine told me i have to update my self and I asked my self : does he mean there can be a latest version of me?
My number was 0...
It`s always fun to act like you don`t see the person running to catch the elevator your in just as the door starts closing.