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I used to date a girl with a lazy eye, but she was seeing someone on the side.
"Love is all we need."-Said a wise man 40 years ago. He obviously has never had a computer
We should have staff meetings in the garden. The plants would love the fertilizer.
That`s a horrible idea ... What time?
"10 Totally Epic Reasons Why You`re Going Straight to Hell" - 2013 version of Ten Commandments
Mary, mary quit contrary, watched their garden thrive. The cops found seed of a very odd weed; Now they`s doing three to five.
Let`s be honest, we all have someone on Facebook we wanna bang...with a pan.
Normal people scare me ... But not as much as I scare them. :)
Relax… We’re all crazy.. It’s not a competition.
This earthquake was the first time that I`ve ever said, "it was 4.7, but felt bigger."
The day I understand females will be the day i`ll be officially known as Jesus
That awkward moment when your parents don’t appreciate the hilarious child they have.
LOQ "Laugh Out Quietly" because LOL is giving me a headache
When you`re down about your body image just type "fat people" into Google images, always makes me feel better!:)
It bothers me when I see tax money wasted on signs telling deer where to cross the road.