Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

My mind is exceptionally quiet.... I am suspicious that I am up to something I don`t want myself to know about.
My business card is just a label I peeled off a beer bottle.
You know what’s more annoying than cops? People who buy old refurbished cop cars and keep the spotlight attached. We all hate you.
OMG ... I hate waiting in lines ... I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect already.
How do you people have the time to hate a stranger on the internet?
A graham cracker is just a white dude selling coke in the ghetto.
That awkward moment when you’re yelling at someone and you mess up a word.
Not to brag, but I’m pretty good in bed. I don’t snore or steal covers, and I only pee if something startles me.
Fact: Pornos aren`t based on actual events.
If my life was a GPS it would constantly be recalculating
Just assume that we aren’t close enough for you to send me a game invites on Facebook.
I wish the minutes after hitting the snooze button lasted as long as microwave minutes.
A friend of mine told me i have to update my self and I asked my self : does he mean there can be a latest version of me?
My number was 0...
It`s always fun to act like you don`t see the person running to catch the elevator your in just as the door starts closing.