Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Corn mazes are great because how often does one get to experience the feeling of being trapped by corn
And for my next magic trick, I`ll walk down a street and turn into a bar.
Doctor told me I only have 6 months to live, maybe 12 if I get enough likes on Facebook.
Ideal roommate: Someone not smart enough to know they are paying 80% of the rent.
Getting out of bed feels like the worst thing that’s ever happened to me ... every time it happens.
I advise you...don`t mess with me, I know karate, kung fu,judo, tae kwon do, jujitsu, and 28 other dangerous words.
From now on when someone asks you where you`re from look them dead in the eye and say: Planet Venus.
If revenge is a dish best served cold AND revenge is sweet then revenge is basically ice cream. Bring it.
Golf would be a lot more fun to watch on TV if the balls were on fire
The bills are washed, the dishes are paid, the laundry’s in the oven. I’m going to bed.
I recently added squats to my daily workout routine and I did so by moving my beer to the bottom shelf in my refrigerator.
If I were to give up Sarcasm, that would leave interpretive dance as my only means of communication.
Hangman was my favorite childhood learning game that promoted hanging someone for a wrong answer.
We all have that one friend who needs to learn how to whisper
If you would`ve told me back in 1999 that we`d still be using animated gifs in 2015, I would`ve said "Wow, what a boring conversation"