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Taco Bell is donating burritos to feed firefighters in Colorado. Talk about putting gas on the fire,
You know its cold out ......when you go outside..... and it`s cold out
My job blocked the Favstar website and I`m not sure if I should quit or take hostages. Haha! Jk. I`m totally taking hostages.
often rambles on and on about this and that seeming to be heading towards a point but really just blabbing about nothing.
likes to end all my phone calls with "Ok, I`ll see you later on at the party!" and then quickly hang up. Let them figure it out.
When one door closes, another one opens.... That`s when you realize that you`ve bought a really bad second hand car.
The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts while the stupid ones are full of confidence.
Am I the only one who thinks water has that taste that no one can describe?
MIDDLE EAST: How can we stop ISIS? EUROPE: How can we save our economy? AMERICA: What color is this dress?!
I think I will stick to my old fashioned pepper shaker. This new pepper spray tastes terrible on my potatoes...
Q: What is the best thing God ever created? A: The vagina. Q: What was the worst thing God ever did? A: Put women in charge of them.
Sorry a remote fell out when you took off my bra
I hate it when I fill my blowup doll with helium and then she plays hard to get...
If your friends tell you not to give in to peer pressure and you don`t: technically, you did
I have a condition that renders me unable to go on a diet… I get hungry.