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Say what you want about Kim and Kanye naming their daughter North West. That kid is headed straight to the top. And slightly to the left.
Why does the need to pee intensify by million when you are trying to unlock the door to your house.
I might be a day late and a dollar short, but it is still my personal best.
"I`m $50 away from getting free shipping which is only $5 and what I want is $12 so I need to spend $38 more to save money." -my brain
Man, those 2013 Mayan Calenders are REALLY hard to find...
Ordering a water with lemon says “I’m too cheap to buy a drink, but I still like a little zing.”
I don’t need a reason to do stupid things, just a venue.
Instead of a selfie, you should take a someone elsie.
Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.
90% of being a dad is yelling about doors being left open while the air conditioning is running.
When I was growing up, I was taught to walk and talk and when I was grown, I was told to sit down and STFU!!!
"I want to be cuddled, but I want to be alone. Being crazy is hard." - WOMEN
I hate being bipolar, it`s great .
When your world is falling apart, when it seems like things can`t get any worse, please remember...I don`t give a s$it.
Be nice to a nerd. Prevent a supervillain.