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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

*Gets absolutely nothing done*… Welp time for a break.
The best thing about online classes is the beer.
I realized I eat too much fast food so I decided I would start cooking for myself. Does anyone here know how to "mcnugget" a chicken?
Its hotter than a three peckered billy goat!
Why is it called a menstrual calendar and not an egg timer?
Life is what you make it = 10% Shit happens = 90%
You will never find the right person, if you do not let go of the wrong one. Call me!
If I could keep it short, my life would be so much simpler.
It`s impossible to get a parking ticket if you don`t have windshield wipers.
The only thing I`ve learned from my mistakes is that I make a whole bunch of them
Are you supposed to get an email that says “HAHAHAHAHA” after signing up for Match.com?
I wish I was full of tacos instead of feelings.
I`m one of the nicest a$$holes you could ever hope to meet.
I like people the most when I`m by myself.
Good thing I`m judged on my actions and not my thoughts.