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Woah.. the room is spinning.. I knew the world revolved around me.. ;)
Do you ever just look at a girl and instantly know she posts her daily horoscope on Facebook and quotes Marilyn Monroe?
Someday, I hope to be so rich that I`ll never be happy again.
that moment when somebody calls your house phone and ask where you are
A hard thing about business is minding your own
Where 5 minutes becomes 5 hours. Facebook.
Ladies, don`t say that men never listen... We can tell you every word of what was said during an NFL pregame or in-game broadcast.
It`s not really stalking if you don`t catch me doing it.
If you receive an e-mail that says: ``FREE JUSTIN BIEBER CONCERT TICKETS`` Don`t open it! It may contain free Justin Bieber concert tickets.
There`s both a McDonald`s and a blood pressure machine at our Walmart. Circle of life.
I wonder if Batman knows that other cities have crime, too.
If a man says you’re ugly he’s being mean. If a woman says you’re ugly she’s envious. If a little kid says you’re ugly, you’re ugly.
I`m afraid if I start working out, I`ll be too sexy
"Are u going to the circus?" is a perfectly good sentence when not used as a follow-up 2 your wife`s question: "how does my make-up look?"
Alice in Wonderland taught me to drink things that I`m unsure of