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Just found some old sex coupons I got from an ex for my b-day. Any of you ladies take competitor`s coupons?
Don’t text and drive. You don’t want “lol” to be the last thing you say before you die.
They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.
Light travels faster than sound.. That is why some people appear bright until they speak.
How did the inventor of the clock know what time it was?
Psycho and socio have always been my favorite paths.
I just found out the neighborhood is having a meeting about the creepy guy. ..Its weird that they forgot to invite me ..
I always try to behave but there are usually too many other options.
Might wake up early and go running but I also might win the lottery, the odds are about the same
Live For Today… Plan For Tomorrow… Party Tonight!
I find that some of the best jokes are the ones that drag you in slowly and then leave you waiting in antici...
I´m really bored but too lazy to do anything about it.
Do you smoke? Smokers: "Yes." Non-Smokers: "Never have, never will." Stoners: "Smoke what?"
Of course women have cleaner minds than men. They change them much more often
What did I get for Christmas? Fat...