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Your outfit says you work in an office, but your shoes say it might have a pole in it
one of the Olsen twins got married earlier today! when the fiance was asked "which one???" he replied "who cares???"
If this world got any smaller I`d probably fall off - George T. Ignace
Weather forecast for tonight: dark
Men use love to get sex...women use sex to get love...I use coupons to get pizza!
This rough sex would have been a lot better if I wasn`t alone.
Relationship Status: ( ) Single ( ) In a Relationship ( ) Married ( ) Engaged ( ) Divorced (X) Waiting for a miracle
I`m reading a book on anti-gravity. It is impossible to put down.
I think when a restaurant has "lobster celebration" it is very misleading to the lobster.
I once had the desire to do something worthwhile with my life. Then I discovered naps.
I think I`ve finally found someone I could spend the rest of my life with, I should probably get out of her closet and introduce myself.
I`m 0-9 on finding secret rooms behind bookcases.
I`m kind of like Hugh Hefner. Only without the mansion, the exotic cars, the girls, the magazine and the money. Basically, I`m just a guy in a bathrobe.
I`d engage you in a battle of wits, but I`m afraid you`re unarmed.
Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Hell Yes.