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I never meant to be so cold, I never meant to be so cold. - Mother nature
Enough with the lies, people who drink decaf coffee, tell us what your game plan is.
I like to log into facebook and leave a status just to show I`m here. Or am I?
I`ve been holding my stomach in for 3 years now so don`t talk to me about dedication!
Why is it that most nudists are people you don`t want to see naked?
When I think of a SELFIE, I`m not sure it`s the same thing you`re thinking of...
Dr. Seuss could have been the greatest rapper ever.
Applebees is a word that starts off pretty tame but takes a dangerous twist
Ever look in a mirror wondering about the stranger staring back & then realize it`s your neighbor`s window and they`re calling the cops?
Hope you get down and funky on this the day of your birth!!
“Let’s eat, get drunk and watch people exercise” – sports fans
Now if you’ll excuse me, tonight’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.
A homeless man just asked me if I was having a bad hair day, so I took my dollar back.
Tip to reduce weight, first turn your head to the left and then turn it to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.
Sometimes I just sit and run my fingers through my lovers hair. It`s a nice way to let them know my love and also that we`re out of napkins.