Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Girls think that having their period is the most inconvenient thing they can experience. They`ve obviously never dated a girl who was on her period.
I don`t get along with Hipster kids. Not a fan of the smell of thrift stores.
If you watch Intervention backwards, it`s about a person partying hard after an awful family reunion.
Forget beauty sleep. I want skinny sleep.
I`ll be back before you can pronounce actillimandataquerin altosapaoyabayadoondib ab!
Still don`t understand why you can`t end a company-wide email with, `Later b*tches.`
If you can´t amaze people with your intelligence, confuse them with your bullsh*t
"I have no idea. Why don`t you just Google it?" —My answer to just about every question I`m ever asked
If you rearrange the letters of "postmen" they get really pissed off.
When a cashier asks if you have a loyalty card just sigh and say, "My wife took everything when she left"
hey single people..tomorrow is officially `rebound day` after all the ridiculously high romantic expectations end in `epic fail`
Why do single people take advice from other single people? That’s like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions
You know it`s cold outside... when you step on dog poop and roll your ankle
I love watching The Simpsons. They never get old.
You bring a baby monitor to the bar one time and everyone freaks out.