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Nothing is really lost until your mom can’t find it.
I try to avoid things that make me look fat, like scales, mirrors and photographs!
is in no shape to exercise
How do people rap? I can’t even talk without messing it up.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself; everyone can see it but only you can feel the warmth that it brings.
I`m late on the give thanks every day in November thing... so let me catch up. Days 1-22. I`m thankful for boobs
I fail to understand the ‘good’ part of ‘good morning’
Ten seconds of drug commercials are spent telling you what the drug is for and the rest is spent basically daring you to take it.
Is it wrong to use cheat codes for Wii Fit.
People are so predictable..I bet you`re even reading this status right now.
If tomatoes are a fruit, then ketchup is a smoothie.
More people should be at a loss for words.
Just once I want someone to make a movie that’s sideways on the screen so I can watch it laying down without getting a kink in my neck.
Well, I`ve officially entered the, "Why did I come into this room?" phase of my life.
I told my kids to follow their hopes and dreams, as long as their hopes and dreams lead them out of my house when they`re 18.