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I`m not sure if I actually have free time or there are things I`m forgetting to do.
Ever have the experience of staring at an outfit hanging in your closet and wondering which of the personalities did the shopping that day?
I can`t wait to meet that special someone who will eventually ignore me.
If the Terminator was female the line would have been, “I might be back, I haven’t decided yet.”
Nobody’s phone is ever off. They’re lying.
After meeting me... my therapist is now in therapy...
that awkward moment when your pulling the covers up and hit yourself in the damn face !!!
Why is there Head & Shoulders shampoo? Who has hair on their shoulders? Who`s shampooing their shoulder hair? ... please come forward.
Maybe it`s inappropriate for the first date but if there`s a maze on the menu I`m asking for crayons.
Ziploc`s idea of how big a sandwich should be is very different from mine.
Facebook crushes are all fun and games until someone buys a plane ticket.
I would of read and liked your status if it wasn`t like 3 pages long.
Crayons are a lot like M & M`s, all the colors taste the same.
Horse racing is like NASCAR only slower and with poop.
I think I may have misunderstood my boss yesterday when she told me that she wanted to see me hard at work