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I just had a conversation with my-self...but it just turned into an argument. I think it`s that time of the month...
Didja ever get to know someone so well, that you wish you didn`t know them at all????
List of the most populated places in the world - 1. China 2. India 3. Friend Zone 4. United States 5. Indonesia
No matter how loud you crank the bass, it`s still a minivan.
Isn`t it strange that bankruptcy attorneys don`t let you make payments....
That awkward moment when you`re telling the truth, but start laughing like crazy and everyone thinks you`re lying.
In a new study women with large a$$es live longer………the men who tell them live distinctively shorter lives.
When are they going to drug test the audience of "The Price Is Right."? No one is that happy
If you want to keep a secret from me, put it inside a Facebook event invitation.
Insomnia improves your math skills. You spend all night calculating how much sleep you`ll get if you "fall asleep right now".
Word of the day is bishop: My aunt fell down the stairs and I had to pick the bishop.
I don`t get my neighbor. tells me to make my self at home but then gets pissed off when they come into the kitchen and I`m in my underwear making a sandwich.
Sometimes in life, all you really need is a lot of money.
If I didn’t drink, how would my friends know I loved them at 2AM?
You can either wear granny panties OR yoga pants - not both. Pick one.