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You all take typos way too serious, you gays.
"Does my uniform make me look fat?" -Insecurity guard
Boy it`s nice out today... or at least that`s what it says on my computer.
The awkward moment when you look both ways down a one way street.
A drunk man walks into a bar...but enough about me...
If I suddenly had the ability to teleport, I’d spend an entire day popping up naked in front of people and asking for John Connor.
Dear Santa: I have been good for the past week or so. Lets just focus on that.
I saw a bumper sticker today that said "I miss New York", so I smashed their window and snatched their laptop...
I`m sorry we fought ... I hate it when you`re wrong.
Sometimes I use big words that I don’t fully understand in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.
I went outside once. The graphics were amazing but the gameplay and storyline were TERRIBLE.
Waterfalls are a beautiful, majestic sight as they pour down upon the rocky crags below. Unless you`re in a canoe and about to plummet to your death. Then waterfalls sorta suck.
Apparently, saying “Wow, you’ve grown since I last saw you” isn’t deemed socially acceptable when said to adults.
You`re only young once but you can be immature forever!
Plan to be spontaneous - tomorrow.