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We got about 5-6 inches of snow here in the last 24 hrs, or, according to men, we got 8 inches.
I’m not here to judge, I’m just pointing out all the mistakes you’re making.
what does bgif mean on a friday night ? ... boobs go in front
What is the difference between a trapeze artist and a supermodel?. The trapeze artist has a cunning stunt.
I may or may not have just tried unlocking the wrong car for 15 minutes.
How can you tell if a smurf has the blues?
Tip to get out of jury duty: Begin every answer with “According to the prophecy.”
I`m not sure it`s possible to fill a moving truck these days without the word "Tetris" being brought into the conversation.
When my dog sniffs another dog`s poop I can only assume that it`s their equivalent to checking a friend`s facebook page.
Those teardrop tattoos mean you cried during the notebook, right?
I like to go on drunk facebook post binges, then claim the next day that someone hacked my account.
If you need me I`ll always be stuck behind the person who doesn`t know how to use the CVS self-checkout aisle.
eHarmony matched me with a bean bag chair with duct tape on it
I am really thankful that I have a desk job. I could never get all my personal stuff done at home.
Never argue with someone who knows fancier words than you. Like `responsibility`