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I don’t care if it’s 4 A.M. I don’t consider it “tomorrow” until I wake up.
I told my psychiatrist that I`ve been hearing voices. He told me that I don`t have a psychiatrist.
Oh Mickey, you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind. Hey Mickey. Hey Hey Mickey!..face it you didn’t read that, you sang it.
Bring multiple sets of clothes to work, change every hour, and act like nothing’s different.
I’m like a kid in a candy store. I can’t afford anything.
If you`re a girl and you drink Vodka... there`s a high probability, I love you.
Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that made you smile ?
You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket .. I´d miss you alot and think of you often.
Sobriety and I have agreed to see other people today
Flight 370, proven harder to find then the G spot :-/
You posted a drunk selfie last night at 2:04 AM and then deleted it five minutes later. But I took a screenshot. Let`s negotiate.
I always dress up when I try to cook. The odds of me starting a fire are pretty high and I want to make sure I look good for the firemen.
Whenever I feel that someone is about to sneeze I yell “PIKA!” & they’re like “CHU!”. I don’t have any friends.
"Is everything OK?" "Well, I`ve been kind of down since the divorce..." "I meant with your pasta, sir."
Of course I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one.